Over the Thanksgiving holiday, I swear I saw commercials for the movie The Blind Side more times than I caught the ads of those cats singing the free credit report jingle. (F-R-E-E that spells free/credit report dot com, baby…) Environmentalists could learn a lot from Hollywood; that place recycles scenarios more often than a tree hugger sneers at Hummer drivers.
The trailers for the movie indicate that The Blind Side is yet another addition to that long list of white savior movies. I haven’t seen it and don’t plan to (In grad school, we call this not being bound by the text.), but it seems that Sandra “I’m doing this movie to make up for playing a racist in Crash” Bullock saves a big black kid from the perils of blackness. (Crabs in a barrel. You know the deal.) I guess the Based on a true story tagline wants to goad me into not being critical of the movie, the genre. Whatever. The movie has provided an occasion to address the white savior film. Since I’ve seen every episode of Webster and Diff’rent Strokes and Dangerous Minds (twice), I’m going to provide a primer for Negro saving for any and all white folks with plenty of money and love in their hearts to adopt a hapless black kid. And for you black youth out there, pay attention. You might find something useful here to make yourself more marketable.