This situation is tragic. There is no other way to describe it. It is tragic. As with other tragedies, there are lessons to be learned. And no, i am not of the mind that it is somehow more tragic because it happened to Chris Brown and Rihanna. Whenever i hear or read that “if it could happen to them it could happen to anyone”, i cringe. What do we mean by that? Are young, pretty (yes, he’s pretty too) Black stars somehow domestic violence proof? Does the shroud of fame and fortune protect them from the horrors that haunt countless families?
No. They are JUST the people that this happens to. They are young people who grew up in abusive households and, unfortunately, had no time to find or define themselves away from the abuse.
“The number one cause of death for young women aged 15-45 is intimate partner violence.” So spare me the rhetoric that this is somehow more tragic than when it is our neighbors, family members, or friends.
What bothers me most is that no one seems to notice the real issue here: the value, or lack thereof, that we place on the lives and happiness of Black women.
The fact that there was chatter about how she might have deserved it or provoked him is disconcerting. But no one is discussing that. The fact that after his pathetic Larry King Live interview, people were more concerned with his stupid ass bowtie than his lack of palpable remorse is disconcerting. But no one is discussing that. The fact that when Rihanna finally chose to speak about her pain, her forehead was a trending topic on Twitter is disconcerting. But no one is discussing that.
No one is talking about how she placed his happiness and safety above her own. Or how much value she placed on his life and love. No one is talking about that. Common once rapped: “when we lessen our women our condition seems to worsen” (“Real People”). Truth.
Don’t get me wrong, i question Rihanna’s timing. That she could wait until just prior to her album release is an issue. Her timing cheapens the struggle of women in similar situations. Using her struggle for profit/publicity cheapens the struggle.
i question her timing, yes, but not her pain. i question her timing but i applaud her strength, her openness. i applaud her but i wish that she would value battered women more than record sales.