I was going to serve up a nice little nihilistic rant to begin the week, but I’ve thought better of it. Instead, I will provide you with a list. It’s been a while since I’ve done a list, right?
Last week, I failed to give a special birthday shout out to Nina Simone. After posting my blog, I spent most of the day listening to Nina (partly because it was her birthday, partly because I needed to get Soulja Boy’s “Speakers Going Hammer” out of my head). The exercise lead me to Youtube. One of the comments on a clip of “Sinnerman” reads: this is on God’s iPod.
I’m stealing that idea for today’s blog. What, exactly, is on God’s iPod? A few guesses (which may just look like a list of some of my personal jams, because the God I believe in has the same [excellent] taste in music that I have. Me being made in His image and all.):
- Michael Jackson, “Human Nature” — Like, duh.
- Bob Marley, “Forever Loving Jah” — Because if the Old Testament teaches you anything, it’s that God is a narcissist. A really, really, really, really angry narcissist.
- Tears for Fears, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” — This is God’s theme song. And He plays it over and over during the State of the Union address.
- Meshell N’degeocello, “Devil’s Halo” — Sure, He has beef with the guy, but a bangin’ instrumental is a bangin’ instrumental.
- Hall and Oates, “Private Eyes” — Because God is the original Big Brother
- Talking Heads, “Once in a Lifetime” — God’s answer to Talking Heads’ profound question, “Well, how did I get here?” is “Me, silly.”
- Jay-Z, “Izzo (H.O.VA.)” & “Lucifer” — Because if God were a rapper, he’d sound like Jay-Z: Can’t leave Earth alone, the game needs me.
- Roy Davis Jr., “Heavenly Father” — Because in God’s house, they play house. Gospel house.
- Sam Sparro, “Black and Gold” — Because can’t nobody sing about God the way the gays sing about God.
- Stevie Wonder, “Heaven is 10 Zillion Light Years Away” — God doesn’t like Stevie’s math, but He likes this song.
- Neneh Cherry, “Buffalo Stance” — Mostly for the line, No money man can win my love/it’s sweetness that I’m thinking of. But also because it’s still the jam.
I ask my brilliant and blasphemous reader(s): What else might be on God’s iPod?