Summer M.’s Finals Week

For many, today marks the beginnings of finals week, a slew of tests given at the end of the semester wherein students attempt to coherently regurgitate everything they learned last night while cramming. In this tradition, I’d like to assign several essay questions to a few folks who have some explaining to do. You know what they say: you can take the student out of the school, but you can’t take the school out of the student. Actually, “they” don’t say that at all. Who is “they,” anyway?

Each essay should be 8 – 10 double-spaced pages and cite at least 5 non-Wikipedia sources. Plagiarism is for suckas.

After the jump, check out the “student”, major, and essay topic.

Say WHAT!? Mary J. Blige Cast as Malcolm X’s Widow

Mary J. Blige has been cast to play Betty Shabazz in the upcoming film, Parallel Lives, a television film about Shabazz and Coretta Scott King, the widows of Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr., respectively:

“The R&B star, who makes her debut as a leading lady on the screen in the upcoming Rock of Ages, will play Betty Shabazz in Parallel Lives. She tells WENN, ‘It’s about the lives of Coretta Scott King and Betty Shabazz, the women in Malcolm X’s and Martin Luther King’s life (sic). I’m playing Betty and prepping for that now. I’ve been studying her online and watching her interviews.'”

Filming will start in September.

Burger Queen of Hip-Hop Soul

Wow, Mary J. Blige! Way to attempt to throw Burger King under the proverbial bus. The only thing more laughable than your people’s move to distance you from the role you played in Burger King’s celebrity-laden rebranding effort was the actual commercial.

And yes, I laughed. Hard. Hysterically. More than once.

Let’s take another look:


God, that’s funny.