Commercial Break: Athlete Slash Musician

It seems I’ve been more polemical than usual these last few weeks. So how about something completely worthless and asinine–ok, more worthless and asinine than what I usually post here–this Monday? Because, frankly, all I have to say about The Help‘s (and The Smurfs’) continued box office success this weekend is: Effing really (God bless the interrobang.)

Anyway, in case you missed it, the NFL lockout ended, and I’m using the breaks from dissertating to prepare for the upcoming fantasy football season. I’m ready to defend last year’s title (and take that money); I’ve also started a women’s fantasy football league (because that’s why feminists burned their bras in the 70s). In an effort to find enough women to participate, the homie, Liz and I Twitter-stalked ESPN’s Jemele Hill trying to get her to take one of our slots. Despite the hilarity of our tweets to her, she eventually declined due to schedule (or so she says #notbitter). One of tweets I sent her was a mash-up of the New York Jet, Bart Scott’s now hilariously infamous post-game interview and Nu Shooz 80s hit, “I Can’t Wait.” My foray into technological prowess combined with Deion “Must be the Money Sanders’ induction into the NFL Hall of Fame a few weeks ago got me thinking about athletes and their musical careers. And so, instead of the scathing pop culture criticism you’ve grown used to, I present:

On Not Seeing 'The Help'

I did not see The Help this weekend; I also did not read the book. Since I both read and saw The Secret Life of Bees a couple of years ago and am conversationally familiar with The Blind Side, I figured I had earned enough credit to sit this one out. Call it a mental health decision.

Some Unsolicited Love Advice for Queen Latifah

(Since my last two blogs have been relatively serious, how about something light this Monday morning?)

Dear Queen Latifah,

Well, look at you! Just the other week I was considering the conditions under which you might come out, and now word on the street is you’re all up in the magazines talking about what kind of women you like:

Queen Latifah: …I just like ladies who have class. Period. And if it’s “T and A” you’re sellin’, that’s fine, as long as that’s what you’re selling. But you don’t have to show everything, you know? You can hold some back and just be yourself and let your personality shine and let your individuality show. To me, that’s sexier. A confident woman is a sexy woman, in my opinion. And I think guys find that to be the same way.

Jamie: Right.

Queen Latifah: You don’t have to show everything; you don’t have to put it all out there to attract a guy. Because what kind of guy are you gonna attract? What is he really looking for? If you wanna be a booty call, I guess you can throw it all out there. (laughs) But if you’re looking for a relationship with someone who respects you and respects things other than your body—your mind, your spirit, your personality, your smile—then you have to kind of exude that more so than just yo’ booty and yo’ titties.

Amy Winehouse (1983 – 2011)

Many of us were not surprised, but shocked nonetheless to learn of British soul singer Amy Winehouse’s sudden death at the age of 27. Winehouse was found dead in her London home on July 23. As is the trend these days, fans and friends of Winehouse set Twitter on fire with condolences and all the mourning one can pack into 140 characters (or fewer). Sometimes, the internet is the only place big enough to collect all the sadness that accompanies such news. The world lost a very talented person two days ago.