Halloween is this week. Which is to say that on Thursday and the days following, black people will have their annual opportunity to remind white people who listen that blackface is offensive #neverforget. Last year, my Halloween community service included a checklist that white people could use to determine whether their chosen costume would offend people of color. This year, I had intended to compile a list of acceptable white people costumes, but started to get bored with the idea after coming up with adoptive parent of Asian and/or black orphans, Barney’s customer, racist, colonizer, and member of the Obama cabinet as viable costumes. So instead, I thought I’d take some time and speak for white folks. Below, you will find an easily adaptable statement that should be used if and when a white person of note, Dutch clown, and/or fraternity finds themselves in trouble once those Halloween party photos are instagrammed. It can also be read as a translation for any statement the offending parties will make in the wake of their racist faux pas.