Comic: Criticizing problematic kinks is not kink-shaming

by JeCorey Holder

I’m just saying it’d be great if we could have a conversation on misogyny in the kink community.

It’d be wonderful if we could discuss racism and fetishization in the kink community.

It would be fantastic if we could point out how many actual predators are hiding behind such a thin veil and being sheltered by kink subculture.

It would be ideal if we could speak on any problematic elements of kinks.

But, no.

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Those of us who have been in those trenches know good and gott’damn well that this is a potent recipe for a messy and turbulent comment section.

With cries of kink-shaming, people attempt to silence any sort of valid call out that targets the predators standing among them, the oppression that often masquerades as kink, and the violences that they themselves may be complicit in.

These people compare mild criticisms of kinks to bigotry and intolerance so fast it’ll leave you wondering what the fuck happened and how the hell we ended up on the subject of the Civil Rights movement in a discussion about (NON-consensual) misogyny in the “daddy dom” scene.

Not every act of sexual expression is “just between consenting adults” and, thus, is sacred and protected from dissection.  

Claiming “kink” isn’t a Get-Out-Of-Accountability Free card.

Kinks should always be ethical, and the intellectual laziness in refusing to discuss this is how people become your victims instead of your partners.

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Gamer, geek, and social activist. JeCorey Holder has been weaving tapestries of shade and fury since the early 2000’s. Pro-LGBTQ, pro-black, and pro intersectional feminism, he is full of feelings and opinions that try to call out and tear down the oppressive status quo.