If you ask me, the “male image” could do with a fair amount of rearranging.

-JeCorey Holder
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by JeCorey Holder

Masculinity is apparently so weak that men loving ourselves, grooming ourselves, and getting cute in “feminine” ways is somehow considered a threat. I notice they’re especially harsh on queer men, because lord knows we can’t even breathe without these straight dudes suckin’ their teeth in annoyance. When Billy Porter stepped onto the Oscar’s red carpet in his tuxedo gown, it sent waves of panic throughout the land as straight men clung tightly their masculinity, which they insisted Porter was somehow threatening to take away from them.

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Oh, darling. I would love to break away from this flattering mirror and talk to these bitter, crusty little mortals about how Black men are conditioned to believe a man’s default moods are supposed to be placid anger and dying of heart disease.  

I’d love to educate them on how they too could love themselves and be just as free and joyful as I am about my looks, as unapologetic as Billy Porter is in his dresses and capes. However, it’s hard for me to waste any of my precious energy being sympathetic towards people who willfully perpetuate the toxic masculinity that tears men down. It’s just not a good look.

Men glorify a culture of violence and dominance, but apparently think men putting flowers in their hair and gowns on their bodies is “destroying the male image” and “what it means to be a MAN.” If you ask me, the “male image” could do with a fair amount of rearranging. Perhaps an entire overhaul, if we’re being honest.

Men, queer or otherwise, openly loving themselves, caring about their looks, and even allowing ourselves to make “feminine” aesthetic choices isn’t hurting anyone. I will proudly shine, however I please, and you can all stay mad about it.

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Gamer, geek, and social activist. JeCorey Holder has been weaving tapestries of shade and fury since the early 2000’s. Pro-LGBTQ, pro-black, and pro intersectional feminism, he is full of feelings and opinions that try to call out and tear down the oppressive status quo.