For White People: A Quick Guide to Having Black Friends
Here’s what, I know it’s awkward sometimes. But there’s no reason it should be. If we just asked the difficult questions without being concerned with how it will look. So White people, this is for you. Here are a three quick things your Black friend(s) are too politically correct to tell you.
All my black friends have a bunch of white friends, and all my white friends have one black friend. -Chris Rock
1. Don’t call us your “Black friend”. It’s actually pretty rude, no matter how true it may be. Along the same lines, we’re not interested in learning about every other Black person you’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. In case you hadn’t noticed by now, Black people are people too. We’re all different, with very different personalities and habits. So just because your Black friend in high school smoked weed, doesn’t mean we all do.
2. Don’t whisper when you say “Black”. If this isn’t the most racist shit. Black is not a bad word. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to say it. If you whisper, cringe or look around to make sure no one will overhear you when you say Black in our company it makes us wonder what you say when we’re not around.
3. Don’t ask us to translate rap lyrics. We don’t know the words to every rap song ever written. I understand that some rap is hard to decipher but it isn’t a code language. If you can’t understand what the hell Gucci Mane is saying, chances are we can’t either. And on the same token (no pun), we aren’t that impressed that you know the words to the latest Rick Ross song. Recite the “Good Times” theme song if you really want to impress. This applies to gang signs and slang also.
There you are, a few things to remember in your interaction with your friends. Results may vary, but not much.
FIRST
FIRST
You should come out with a complete list. Three has left me wanting more!
You should come out with a complete list. Three has left me wanting more!
jUST DISCOVERED THIS WEBSITE! wONDERFUL!
BOOK to recommed to white friends:”It’s The Little Things:Everyday Interactions That Anger, Annoy & Divide the races” by LENA WILLIAMS (a Black reporter at the NYTimes)
A lot of the questions many/most white people have but are afraid to ask Black people…some clarity about common misunderstandings (& reading this could PREVENT them). Some of this seems pretty obvious–obvious if one simply practices courtesy & basic respect towards people of color that one would towwards white people. I got some reassurance & some laughs/winces (wow! my fellow whites are even dumber & ruder than I thought! “I’m glad I’d NEVER say THAT”) and got some insights about some things that I wondered about but would feel i was invading privacy or jsut dumb if I ever asked. (Frnakly, it’ s LONG seemd that while Black people want white people to be more aware, they are almost always offended or annoyed if a white person asks questions about their experience/culture ect.ALL THE MORE REASON TO READ LENA WILLIAMS BOOK.)
Finally, I wonder if there really are far more interracial friendships among people under 30 TODAY than in the past. It often has felt to me (at 50) that Black people really have no interest in white friends. COLLEAGUES is about as good as it gets—and even then, things rarely reciprocal. It’s often up to the white person to always “earn” trust and be reliable (but NOT expect the same) and basicly endure at certain amount of what I’ve come to call “the petty payback”—that is,low level psychological abuse as revenge forwhat Black people endure in a white dominated society. This is disappoijnting frankly as there have been a lot of Black people over the years that I’ve really liked,admired and wanted to know better/be friends with but, there are very real obstacles.
I second the emotion: ADD TO YOUR LIST!
jUST DISCOVERED THIS WEBSITE! wONDERFUL!
BOOK to recommed to white friends:”It’s The Little Things:Everyday Interactions That Anger, Annoy & Divide the races” by LENA WILLIAMS (a Black reporter at the NYTimes)
A lot of the questions many/most white people have but are afraid to ask Black people…some clarity about common misunderstandings (& reading this could PREVENT them). Some of this seems pretty obvious–obvious if one simply practices courtesy & basic respect towards people of color that one would towwards white people. I got some reassurance & some laughs/winces (wow! my fellow whites are even dumber & ruder than I thought! “I’m glad I’d NEVER say THAT”) and got some insights about some things that I wondered about but would feel i was invading privacy or jsut dumb if I ever asked. (Frnakly, it’ s LONG seemd that while Black people want white people to be more aware, they are almost always offended or annoyed if a white person asks questions about their experience/culture ect.ALL THE MORE REASON TO READ LENA WILLIAMS BOOK.)
Finally, I wonder if there really are far more interracial friendships among people under 30 TODAY than in the past. It often has felt to me (at 50) that Black people really have no interest in white friends. COLLEAGUES is about as good as it gets—and even then, things rarely reciprocal. It’s often up to the white person to always “earn” trust and be reliable (but NOT expect the same) and basicly endure at certain amount of what I’ve come to call “the petty payback”—that is,low level psychological abuse as revenge forwhat Black people endure in a white dominated society. This is disappoijnting frankly as there have been a lot of Black people over the years that I’ve really liked,admired and wanted to know better/be friends with but, there are very real obstacles.
I second the emotion: ADD TO YOUR LIST!