I have really big boobs. They are humongous. I’m a shade over five feet tall with enough rack for three women. They draw a ton of attention. This, I know. But just because they’re huge does not mean we all get to touch them or remark about them. Thanks.

One of my mentees has been coming into her form lately and it has drawn a lot of unwanted attention from her family, friends, and strange older men. I’ve dealt with it most of my life. It’s not fun when you’re 13 years old and you don’t quite understand what’s going on with your body.  It’s even less fun when everyone around you deems it appropriate to make jokes, poke or grab at them.

What I want to make known to her and every other young girl who is physically stepping into womanhood before being mentally prepared to do so is that this is not a normal part of womanhood. Your body is yours and yours alone. It is for you to open up conversations about, for you to share and for you to keep to yourself. Part of being a woman is learning that, keeping it close to your heart and wearing it like a shield when necessary. People around you are not entitled to that piece of you, no matter their relationship to you.

I know that’s easier said than done. For a long time, I silently let others mock and discuss my body. But I know how hard that is and how hard it can be to handle. You don’t have to.

Be firm. Understand that you are not doing anything wrong when you tell them to stop. If you are uncomfortable with the way someone is speaking about or touching you, tell them to stop. And don’t confuse this with instilling shame. Part of recognizing your body’s beauty is being able to open and close conversations concerning it with ease and confidence. If you have questions, ask them. If other people have questions, answer them. If you ever feel uncomfortable, stop them. Take ownership of your body now because it is yours and yours alone.