LL Cool J and Brad Paisley Collaborate on Bizarre Country-Rap Song ‘Accidental Racist’

On this episode of When Keeping it Post-Racial Goes (Terribly, Terribly) Wrong: LL Cool J and country singer Brad Paisley got together and made a song.

It’s called “Accidental Racist,” and it rendered us speechless and rather confused.

In it, Paisley laments the trails and tribulations of being a misunderstood, southern white man:

“To the man that waited on me at the Starbucks down on Main, I hope you understand /When I put on that t-shirt, the only thing I meant to say is I’m a Skynyrd fan/The red flag on my chest somehow is like the elephant in the corner of the south.”

Then LL chimes in with the “black perspective.”

“Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood,” he raps, “What the world is really like when you’re livin’ in the hood/Just because my pants are saggin’ doesn’t mean I’m up to no good.”

It’s a horrific collaboration.

Here’s a few more lyrics from the song, and what the folks over at okayplayer had to say:

“I’m proud of where I’m from, but not everything we’ve done – and it ain’t like you and me can rewrite history.”

It’s true, Brad, we can’t rewrite history – if we could, we would go back to a few hours ago and tell you that this song is a really bad idea–made exponentially worse by LL announcing at the end of his verse (which starts off, “Dear Mr. White Man”…yeah.) the following:

If you don’t judge my durag, I won’t judge your red flag,

or even better yet,

If you don’t judge gold chains, I’ll forget the iron chains.

Got that America? If only white people would stop judging seeing black people as the gold-chain-wearing, pant-sagging “up-to-no-good”s (<–LL’s words, y’all) they present themselves to be, we’ll all be able to finally get over that whole slavery kerfuffle everyone seems to get so hung up on. Glad we finally figured it out! Thanks Brad and LL, you guys have allowed us to “let bygones be bygones” and let no black person ever again dare forget to say, “thanks Abraham Lincoln for freeing me” every morning while brushing his teeth.