My Soul grows deep like a river—with sadness
I have not known rivers. I have never experienced rivers ancient as the world and older than the flow of human blood in human veins. I am not as lucky as Langston, even in the context of metaphors and similes. But my soul has grown deep with sadness.
I am the artistic director for a community service group at University of Chicago called P.A.E.C.E. (Performing Art for Effective Civic Education). This past weekend we had our first performance at a community center on the south side of Chicago (Gary Comer Youth Center). The student’s performance—titled Don’t Shoot , I wanna grow up—went well, it was a selection of original poems, skits, and stories that presented the desensitization of violence amongst youth in the black community.
After the performance was over half the students went home with their parents, and all but one took public transportation home. Which left Marcus (I have changed his name for his privacy). Shortly after everyone left, Marcus explained that he couldn’t go home tonight. When asked why, he gave an anecdote about him and his mother getting into a fight earlier that day. “It wasn’t the first time” he explained while lifting up his shirt and revealing to us the teeth marks that that dug into his skin, leaving a stapled ring of scabs around his shoulder. Marcus made my soul grow deep like a river—with sadness. At the end of the night some of the other PAECE mentors and I took Marcus to McDonalds and dropped him off to spend the night with his uncle.
Every time you think that your situation in life is bad, know that it could always be worse. Right when I start to think my life is difficult, God always seems to send someone my way to humble me.
However, I do not write these thoughts so we can have a “deep like the rivers” speech to give on Thanksgiving Day. These words are not typed so people can just be grateful for the comfortable life they have created for themselves. This blog is produced for young people who are suffering or going through hard times to know that there is always a light in what seems like an endless dark tunnel. This blog is for youth to realize that they are the future of our country, and black youth are the future of our black communities. This blog is for those young people who experience situations similar to Marcus. As hard as it becomes, don’t keep your problems locked up and hidden away. Don’t let, anger or sorrow control your life.
My soul is sad because there are so many hurting students out there with no father to look up to, and many times with neglectful or abusive mothers. My soul is sad because I look into some of these students’ eyes and only see pain. I see pain that was inflicted only by those who are previously hurting. Please feel free to email me, or visit our organization page to find other sources of help.
It’s really a sad notion to think that a child cannot return home. It’s sad to think of anyone not having a home to go to for that matter. As a new P.A.E.C.E member myself, and even just working in various high schools around the city you get a feeling of just how deep the struggles of black youth today are. But it’s interesting that you said that the sadness made your soul grow deep, because I think that a lot of people look at these types of issues with “shallow” souls. People are going to have to look deep inside themselves to find the understanding and support needed to help many of the kids facing theses same struggles.
It’s really a sad notion to think that a child cannot return home. It’s sad to think of anyone not having a home to go to for that matter. As a new P.A.E.C.E member myself, and even just working in various high schools around the city you get a feeling of just how deep the struggles of black youth today are. But it’s interesting that you said that the sadness made your soul grow deep, because I think that a lot of people look at these types of issues with “shallow” souls. People are going to have to look deep inside themselves to find the understanding and support needed to help many of the kids facing theses same struggles.
I enjoyed the sentiment in this blog, and I applaud the narrator for being a positive light for these disadvantaged youth.
I enjoyed the sentiment in this blog, and I applaud the narrator for being a positive light for these disadvantaged youth.
The unique aspect about this story and stories similar to it is that I am unable to get used to hearing the same story over and over. You would think that after hearing something habitually you would become numb to the sadness that ensues throughout your body but I will never be able to overcome that sadness as long as I know someone else is suffering. Although this was not written in order to make people count their blessings, situations like these force me to reflect on how much love and affection I receive from my family. It is a frightening reality but at some point in time you have to wonder how long it will be until Marcus and children similar to Marcus be pushed beyond the point of no return. I just hope that if they ever reach that point someone is there to catch them before they fall.
The unique aspect about this story and stories similar to it is that I am unable to get used to hearing the same story over and over. You would think that after hearing something habitually you would become numb to the sadness that ensues throughout your body but I will never be able to overcome that sadness as long as I know someone else is suffering. Although this was not written in order to make people count their blessings, situations like these force me to reflect on how much love and affection I receive from my family. It is a frightening reality but at some point in time you have to wonder how long it will be until Marcus and children similar to Marcus be pushed beyond the point of no return. I just hope that if they ever reach that point someone is there to catch them before they fall.
We need more outlets for our youth like P.A.E.C.E now! Our inner city youth are in a state of crisis! I’m sick of turing on the news and seeing young black men being killed. Our community needs to step up to the plate to support outlets like P.A.E.C.E. I commend Jonathan for being one of these individuals who are helping lead our youth!
We need more outlets for our youth like P.A.E.C.E now! Our inner city youth are in a state of crisis! I’m sick of turing on the news and seeing young black men being killed. Our community needs to step up to the plate to support outlets like P.A.E.C.E. I commend Jonathan for being one of these individuals who are helping lead our youth!
Jon, your prose as at the same time deep, dark, and poignant. Though, I wouldn’t expect any less. Thanks for moving me. I hope you move the world.
Jon, your prose as at the same time deep, dark, and poignant. Though, I wouldn’t expect any less. Thanks for moving me. I hope you move the world.
Alexandri: I agree with you. Within instances like this, I am forced to look at my life and count my blessings also, but I am equally charged to turn around and go into the battle field to help those youth in need. This is not the first “sad” story that I have heard from one of my PAECE students. And it probably wont be the last, however, I am a strong believer in the idea of helping one person at a time, and changing one person at a time. And that keeps me motivated. I told Marcus that when bad things happened in my life, I used the idea of education and college as a motivation for my escape. I can only pray that some of my words resonate with him. In the mean time, Im just going to continue to try to be there for him, one small person, that cares. Sometimes, that is all a person needs.
Alexandri: I agree with you. Within instances like this, I am forced to look at my life and count my blessings also, but I am equally charged to turn around and go into the battle field to help those youth in need. This is not the first “sad” story that I have heard from one of my PAECE students. And it probably wont be the last, however, I am a strong believer in the idea of helping one person at a time, and changing one person at a time. And that keeps me motivated. I told Marcus that when bad things happened in my life, I used the idea of education and college as a motivation for my escape. I can only pray that some of my words resonate with him. In the mean time, Im just going to continue to try to be there for him, one small person, that cares. Sometimes, that is all a person needs.
It is importance that we refuse to acquiesce in the face of injustice or inhumanity. In your post you challenge us to not just sympathize but also empathize with our fellow brethren who are suffering. Great post!
It is importance that we refuse to acquiesce in the face of injustice or inhumanity. In your post you challenge us to not just sympathize but also empathize with our fellow brethren who are suffering. Great post!
This is fantastic. I’m glad that you took away from this, not only a chance to appreciate your own fortune, but also an opportunity to extend yourself & your services outward. Well done, Jonathan.
This is fantastic. I’m glad that you took away from this, not only a chance to appreciate your own fortune, but also an opportunity to extend yourself & your services outward. Well done, Jonathan.
If more people realized that no one should have to pay for the hurts someone else caused in our lives, this world would be a better (and safer) place.
If more people realized that no one should have to pay for the hurts someone else caused in our lives, this world would be a better (and safer) place.
Being witness to this event, I was initially shocked at the level of desensitization that Marcus had toward his own situation. I couldn’t believe how nonchalant he was as he told us about the things he is used to dealing with. This made me want to be able to attempt to help him and other kids in similar situations at least through my presence and continual support and mentorship
Being witness to this event, I was initially shocked at the level of desensitization that Marcus had toward his own situation. I couldn’t believe how nonchalant he was as he told us about the things he is used to dealing with. This made me want to be able to attempt to help him and other kids in similar situations at least through my presence and continual support and mentorship
Hi Jonathan,
I really was thinking about this post and about Marcus. I am glad that P.A.E.C.E. and you were there to intercede on his behalf. Even more fortunate is that Marcus had a cool uncle to take him in for the evening. Sometimes, people aren’t so fortunate and they end out on the streets in a Chicago winter.
Did you guys get the full scoop of why he was set out by his guardian? If it escalates to something dangerous for the youth, there are some really cool social services providers that deal with youth in Chicago.
Hi Jonathan,
I really was thinking about this post and about Marcus. I am glad that P.A.E.C.E. and you were there to intercede on his behalf. Even more fortunate is that Marcus had a cool uncle to take him in for the evening. Sometimes, people aren’t so fortunate and they end out on the streets in a Chicago winter.
Did you guys get the full scoop of why he was set out by his guardian? If it escalates to something dangerous for the youth, there are some really cool social services providers that deal with youth in Chicago.
Supernerd,
Yea, we actually pointed him in the direction of some of those services. He gave me the idea that the issue had been going on since her can remember. Things like this are so sensitive, on one hand you don’t want to be be the reason for him being caught in the system, and on the other, you want to make sure he is not being forced to live in an abusive home. I more important try to just be that encouraging person in his life that he can depend. Like I said in the post, sometimes, that is what people need the most.
Supernerd,
Yea, we actually pointed him in the direction of some of those services. He gave me the idea that the issue had been going on since her can remember. Things like this are so sensitive, on one hand you don’t want to be be the reason for him being caught in the system, and on the other, you want to make sure he is not being forced to live in an abusive home. I more important try to just be that encouraging person in his life that he can depend. Like I said in the post, sometimes, that is what people need the most.
I was a child of physical abuse, I never thought that I would one day have children an be charged was physical abuse. I thought I was being a good parent considering my living arrangements of being a single parent. But I was not being the best parent I could be. Now I can say today I do not use a belt to disciple my children. We need an overhaul in the black community with preventing pregnancy, educating young youth about the hardship of single parenting and the effects it has on the next generation of children. There is a ripple affect that happens when we neglect our youth. An it’s not healthy for the society that they will have to live in.
I was a child of physical abuse, I never thought that I would one day have children an be charged was physical abuse. I thought I was being a good parent considering my living arrangements of being a single parent. But I was not being the best parent I could be. Now I can say today I do not use a belt to disciple my children. We need an overhaul in the black community with preventing pregnancy, educating young youth about the hardship of single parenting and the effects it has on the next generation of children. There is a ripple affect that happens when we neglect our youth. An it’s not healthy for the society that they will have to live in.
Hi, what anti spam tool do you use? Is it working for you or..? I would really like it if you could answer this question! Thanks in advance!
Hi, what anti spam tool do you use? Is it working for you or..? I would really like it if you could answer this question! Thanks in advance!