CW: images of blood, body dysmorphia and dissociation

by Imani

So much of horror is antiblack and ableist, so I decided to reclaim horror in a way that centers black + chronically ill people.

The Body is a stylized revisiting of a medical side effect I experienced. As someone who is horrified by my body, I saw my body and my host of mystery diagnosis as opposed to me, out to destroy me, and trying to see me suffer.

After this experience and with the help of my friend Joy I was able to slow down and see that my body was not opposed to me, not against me, and is actively trying to keep me alive, even when I am unsure if that is actually something that I want. Since this experience I have become more intentional about being in conversation with my body, and asking them what they need and what to do to alleviate my symptoms.

Unfortunately as a queer, fat, disabled and chronically ill black person I have yet to experience consistent support around my healthcare and was starting to lose hope. As such I started to internalize the white supremacist and medical view of the body, treating my body like the opposition, and almost hatefully trying to diet or tame or manifest my body into submission. Although I am not yet cured, and have a ways to go before my body is back to where it was before I got sick, I am so thankfully and appreciative of the gains I have been able to make.

You can read more about their experiences here: Black dissociation is a requirement of capitalism