The world is still anti-gay
When I was 13 years old, I had a crush on my one of my teachers. She was a woman. She was 50 years old. I told her I liked her and she told me she was married. Bummers. Anyway, I’m sure this is rich with Freudian issues but I also believe it was the first same sex desire. I would call it the equivalent of a young boy falling in love with his teacher’s cleavage. For me, it was her lips.
Anyway, after I got turned down, I went to the Counselor’s office to ask her if it was strange that I was attracted to my teacher. She said that it was strange and that if I thought I was bisexual I should explore the possibility that I may have been sexually abused much earlier in life. I told her that I hadn’t had that experience and went back to class.
I would go on to have my first long distance girlfriend at 15, my first real sexual attraction to a woman at 16 and finally after two years in the closet and a lot of experimentation under my belt, come out as bi-sexual to my mom in front of the Social Sciences building at the University of Chicago at the ripe old age of 20. All of my gay friends have been out for about 15 years. I’ve been out for eight. Until recently, I haven’t held anyone accountable—I was just slow to accept. But now, I blame the counselor.
My nephew who is seven recently told me that it was weird I had a girlfriend and that “a woman should be with a man and a boy with a girl.” He folded after a strong challenge from my mom, but even she was shocked that he held steady in his argument. “I know this is true because I am smart.” Unfortunately, we later found out an adult male told him that, “two dudes together was nasty.”
And strangely with all openness about homosexuality today, I still think we live in a world that isn’t prepared to nurture children into healthy sexual identities—gay or straight or both. Instead, it seems there are more powerful people (and yes, I count school counselors as very powerful people) telling young people what’s wrong with sex.
Last year during the string of LGBT suicides, I thought a lot about my nephew and how much extra work has to go into mentoring kids who already grow up in a world ill-equipped to deal with black kids, let alone gay ones. It feels unfair–all the extra work put into raising progressive and open people in a world unapologetic towards homosexuality. At the end of the day, does it really matter if Ellen is on the cover of people and gays can go to war, if our own teachers, our neighbors, and our families think there is something wrong with who you are.
I really appreciate your blog post. I had a discussion with my boyfriend about how we would handle a gay child. This dialogue was spurred on by this: http://www.myprincessboy.com/index.asp. I saw this mother on television speaking about a book see wrote that was inspired by her son who enjoys waring dresses. I loved it. I think many people, male and female, say gender roles aren’t valid, but subscribe to them every day. Sexuality is definitely a component of that. I plan on starting a dialogue on my blog about it. Thanks for fueling the discussion.
I really appreciate your blog post. I had a discussion with my boyfriend about how we would handle a gay child. This dialogue was spurred on by this: http://www.myprincessboy.com/index.asp. I saw this mother on television speaking about a book see wrote that was inspired by her son who enjoys waring dresses. I loved it. I think many people, male and female, say gender roles aren’t valid, but subscribe to them every day. Sexuality is definitely a component of that. I plan on starting a dialogue on my blog about it. Thanks for fueling the discussion.
thanks for your response. i’ve seen the princess boy thing and at first glanced really praised his mom although after seeing him on about five television shows, i felt like she might be doing a bit more damage than good. and please get back to me with that link when you get the conversation started on your page.
thanks for your response. i’ve seen the princess boy thing and at first glanced really praised his mom although after seeing him on about five television shows, i felt like she might be doing a bit more damage than good. and please get back to me with that link when you get the conversation started on your page.
Your last line sums everything up perfectly. I don’t think enough attention is given to the day-to-day experiences queer folk (of color) face despite (or maybe because of) the “progress” we see in mainstream media. What good is public lip service and mainstream visibility, when we are not yet free to be and explore our full selves with our family, friends, and all those integral to our development.
Your last line sums everything up perfectly. I don’t think enough attention is given to the day-to-day experiences queer folk (of color) face despite (or maybe because of) the “progress” we see in mainstream media. What good is public lip service and mainstream visibility, when we are not yet free to be and explore our full selves with our family, friends, and all those integral to our development.