The First Step is Acknowledgement: I Have Class Privilege
Aloha . . . Mahalo . . . Hula . . . Hana Hou . . . are a few Hawaiian words I’ve learned this week while visiting Hawaii. You know, I think Hawaii is the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen with its luscious green mountains and its sparkling blue beaches. There is something special about this place that makes me want to be less troll-like to people who attempt to break my camel’s back or who attempt to pull my last nerve. Indeed, Hawaii is a special place. Perhaps, it has something to do with the bounty of green vegetation that encircles the island. And given that I grew up in an inner city, went to school in an inner city, and probably will die in an inner city, seeing the abundance of fauna and flora is simultaneously breathtaking and a little disturbing as well.
Breathtaking for all the reasons listed above. But disturbing because I seem to be allergic to Mother Nature and of course I have capitalism, pollution, and chemically enriched foods to thank for all of this. Furthermore, seeing all the vegetation and the beauty of Hawaii is equally unsettling because it reminds me of how privileged I am and how many in my immediate biological family will never be able to visit the land of Hawaii because they do not have the funds and/or time to do so.
Yep, you’ve guessed it this blog is not about Hawaii per se, but more about my inner turmoil with dealing with my increasing class privilege. I know the phrase “inner turmoil” seems a tad bit dramatic, but it’s the best phrase I can conjure up to use while struggling with jet lag. Also, Hawaii is a metaphor for talking about privilege. Well, even though my going to Hawaii was based on my services of being a part-time grad school nanny. It still feels like a privileged state because I did not have to pay for anything. Furthermore, the child was extremely well-behaved and I had an abundance of time to explore Hawaii. So, to say the least I felt inner turmoil about being in Hawaii when so many in my family struggles to keep their heads above water.
Recently, my mother told me she and my two younger siblings will have to move yet again because of a faulty housing agreement. This will make the fifth time they have moved in the last five years. Of course, my mother told me not to worry about her because she’s a hustler, but I can’t stop worrying about her and the need for my younger brother and sister to have a stable place to lay their heads. In addition to this, my older sister is continuously in and out of the hospital because her insurance–which she got only a year ago after working at the job for two years–does not provide her with the best doctors to ensure correct diagnoses. And these examples of hardships are just the tip of the iceberg.
In response to me telling people I have “inner turmoil” about my class privilege, they say, “Well, you’ve made the right decisions in life. You’ve worked hard in school and so you deserve to have.” There is something unsavory about their response because they assume I’ve made the right decisions at every moment of my life and that if you make one bad decision than you are forever doomed to be poor living pay check to pay check.
When I told my mother and sister I was going to Hawaii they were happy for me, but they also said or at least I heard in their happiness,
“Well, you’ve always made good choices about education. I wish I would have made better decisions when I was younger, but I am going to make sure your niece/nephew/brother/sister do well in school.” And when they say things like this my heart grieves because I know I’ve not always made the right decisions and that some things were simply given to me because “I was good polite little black girl” or because “I spoke the King’s English” or because “an undergraduate professor took time out of her schedule to teach me how to write even though I graduated valedictorian of my high school class” or because “I kept my legs closed” or because “I was clean and articulate” or
because “I filled an affirmative action quota for a program” or because “I was a good Christian black girl.” Embedded in most of the “or because” statement listed above is a power structure—patriarchy (appropriate femininity), white supremacy, appropriate heterosexuality, Christianity—that shapes who enters the promised land of privilege. And some of the “or because” statements are simply a result of chance and being at the right place at the right time. So, it was not simply my “hard work” or “good choices,” but structures that opened up to grant me access and chance.
And of course, my sister and mother do uphold the ideas listed above, however, what shines through in my conversations with them is that since they made one mistake—not doing well in school—then they deserve their fate. That’s some bull shit and a lie fabricated by capitalism and liberalism to make people blame themselves and not the fucked up public school systems that manufacture kids of color to occupy pink collar and blue collar jobs. And let’s be honest, for capitalism to work (most of the time) it needs a thriving number of unemployed and unskilled people to exploit.
Working hard and good choices bah hum bug.
And so when I finally saw the movie, The Princess and the Frog and listened to Tiana’s constant downright annoying refrain of working hard to get your dream, I said to myself how this idea of working hard and making good choices is all smoke and windows meaning many people often people of color and poor people work hard and don’t get while others like George W. Bush don’t work hard and still get to become of all things President of the United States of America.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about my inner turmoil and she responded by sending me article from the Root written about Lenita McClain, a well-known Chicago journalist, who committed suicide last March because of her battle with depression and because she had inner turmoil about being middle class and seeing her family daily struggle with poverty. In the article, McClain is quoted as saying:
“My life abounds in incongruities. Fresh from a vacation in Paris, I may, a week later, be on the milk-run Trailways bus in Deep South backcountry attending the funeral of an ancient uncle whose world stretched only 50 miles and never learned to read. Sometimes when I wait at the bus stop with my attacha case, I meet my aunt getting off the bus with other cleaning ladies on their way to do my neighbors’ floors.”
Before, anyone gets worried. I am not planning on killing myself. I feature McClain’s words because it shows how this feeling of inner turmoil about class privilege is real for some people and it also shows how unjust the system is. The more I think about it, I like that I can feel inner turmoil about the privilege I have. First of all, because I do not want to become the type of black person who thinks that he or she is where they are simply because they worked hard and made good decisions. Secondly, I do not want to be the type of person who looks down their nose at other black people in their family or community for not working hard.
All in all, Hawaii was beautiful . . .
Hi Fallon, great post! I have been feeling the same way but didn’t really know how to articulate it. I am the first and only one in my immediate family to finish high school, go to college and now grad school. I have been fortunate enough to travel to many places, like you, free of charge and had my education paid for and I am not entirely proud of that fact because I know that my parents and siblings are just as smart and hardworking, but simply have not had the same opportunities for whatever reason.
It’s good to know that other people deal with this too.
Hi Fallon, great post! I have been feeling the same way but didn’t really know how to articulate it. I am the first and only one in my immediate family to finish high school, go to college and now grad school. I have been fortunate enough to travel to many places, like you, free of charge and had my education paid for and I am not entirely proud of that fact because I know that my parents and siblings are just as smart and hardworking, but simply have not had the same opportunities for whatever reason.
It’s good to know that other people deal with this too.
@Tae,
Yeah, I know some people will read my post and say that my guilt is pointless or why am I whining about being privileged, but the “inner turmoil” I feel is very real. I think we loose a portion of our humanity when we do not feel the injustice of the social systems we operate in or recognize how we privilege from our various social locations. So, you are not alone. I struggle often with these feelings.
And of course all of this is not to say that my mother and sister are not happy with their lives because they are, but it is to call attention to how some are granted access and those who are not granted access are deemed responsible for their failure to get access.
@Tae,
Yeah, I know some people will read my post and say that my guilt is pointless or why am I whining about being privileged, but the “inner turmoil” I feel is very real. I think we loose a portion of our humanity when we do not feel the injustice of the social systems we operate in or recognize how we privilege from our various social locations. So, you are not alone. I struggle often with these feelings.
And of course all of this is not to say that my mother and sister are not happy with their lives because they are, but it is to call attention to how some are granted access and those who are not granted access are deemed responsible for their failure to get access.
And those who get access are seen to have made all the right decisions.
And those who get access are seen to have made all the right decisions.
Ah yes, “this fine place so far from home” is how one author put it. The angst, shame, and “inner turmoil” that result when the working class poor make good and go on to join the ranks of the privilege middle class academic. Nice article.
Ah yes, “this fine place so far from home” is how one author put it. The angst, shame, and “inner turmoil” that result when the working class poor make good and go on to join the ranks of the privilege middle class academic. Nice article.
@the_shulammite:
Thanks for the comment. Is the quote from C.L. Dews’ book?
@the_shulammite:
Thanks for the comment. Is the quote from C.L. Dews’ book?
Interesting Post Ms. Fallon…Have you read Michelle Obama’s thesis from when she was at Princeton? If not, please do. She talks about this notion of guilt among black people who come from low-income inner city families and then later become get different types of privilege and then asks if struggling between who you were and who you are is worth it: Powerful stuff. I’m glad that you’re writing publicly about private things. Your self-awareness is inspiring for people (like me) who struggle to examine and acknowledge their own social privileges.
Interesting Post Ms. Fallon…Have you read Michelle Obama’s thesis from when she was at Princeton? If not, please do. She talks about this notion of guilt among black people who come from low-income inner city families and then later become get different types of privilege and then asks if struggling between who you were and who you are is worth it: Powerful stuff. I’m glad that you’re writing publicly about private things. Your self-awareness is inspiring for people (like me) who struggle to examine and acknowledge their own social privileges.
@Angela,
I will definitely look for Michelle Obama’s piece.
@Angela,
I will definitely look for Michelle Obama’s piece.
Hi Fallon,
This is a very interesting piece indeed and it brings up so many topics. As other comments have shared, I too can empathize with this feeling of “inner turmoil”. I would like to hear the next discussion of how we deal with those feelings and truly examine the source/origin of them. You did a great job pointing out the systemic structures which you have successfully navigated to get you to where you are, and how those entities unfairly leave groups of people disenfranchised. I agree with your sentiment here and am an advocate of work being done to turn those injustices around.
To me the most salient point of your article though is this concept of “right choices in education”. I’m assuming (and correct me if I’m wrong) that you made good decisions when it came to your education. You were valedictorian and that implies some degree of valuing education and performing well, and while you may not have made EVERY RIGHT decision, you made an overwhelming majority of good decisions. I don’t believe that this inner turmoil should be associated with that at all. Education is a proven form of social capital. It is unfortunate that many blacks have inadequate education – simultaneously it is not an excuse to devalue its importance and to underperform. There are REAL consequences for not doing well in school – whether you or black or white. The severity of which these consequences may vary – but they are consequences nonetheless.
I do believe that working hard in CONJUCTION with doing well in school are the “right” decisions, with the moral authority being our country’s model of how to move ahead. Education is the access – that’s the key that gets you Hawaii when you come from the inner city. I salute your decision to perform well along with so many other blacks that have. As someone who is amidst a career transition to become an educator in a high-need area, I am committed to encouraging the succeeding generations to do the same.
Hi Fallon,
This is a very interesting piece indeed and it brings up so many topics. As other comments have shared, I too can empathize with this feeling of “inner turmoil”. I would like to hear the next discussion of how we deal with those feelings and truly examine the source/origin of them. You did a great job pointing out the systemic structures which you have successfully navigated to get you to where you are, and how those entities unfairly leave groups of people disenfranchised. I agree with your sentiment here and am an advocate of work being done to turn those injustices around.
To me the most salient point of your article though is this concept of “right choices in education”. I’m assuming (and correct me if I’m wrong) that you made good decisions when it came to your education. You were valedictorian and that implies some degree of valuing education and performing well, and while you may not have made EVERY RIGHT decision, you made an overwhelming majority of good decisions. I don’t believe that this inner turmoil should be associated with that at all. Education is a proven form of social capital. It is unfortunate that many blacks have inadequate education – simultaneously it is not an excuse to devalue its importance and to underperform. There are REAL consequences for not doing well in school – whether you or black or white. The severity of which these consequences may vary – but they are consequences nonetheless.
I do believe that working hard in CONJUCTION with doing well in school are the “right” decisions, with the moral authority being our country’s model of how to move ahead. Education is the access – that’s the key that gets you Hawaii when you come from the inner city. I salute your decision to perform well along with so many other blacks that have. As someone who is amidst a career transition to become an educator in a high-need area, I am committed to encouraging the succeeding generations to do the same.