HOW DID WE GET HERE????

The President* of the United States sent a majority of the country’s citizens into a tailspin of confusion on Tuesday following a press conference that will likely go down in history.

After taking a half-measure at condemning white supremacists’ actions in Charlottesville on Saturday, President* Trump finally admitted that Nazis are bad on Monday. Only to come out on Tuesday and suggest “both sides” were in the wrong for the violence that occurred and criticized the “alt-left” for its role.

“I think there is blame on both sides,” Trump said to members of the press, doubling down on Saturday’s “many sides” comment.

“What about the ‘alt-left’ that came charging at, as you say, the ‘alt-right,’ do they have any semblance of guilt?” Trump asked. “What about the fact they came charging with clubs in hands, swinging clubs, do they have any problem? I think they do.”

“You had a group on one side that was bad and you had a group on the other side that was also very violent. nobody wants to say it, but I will say it right now.”

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In so many words, Donald Trump just used the tired excuse of “but he did it too!” to justify the actions of a group of people who marched though the streets chanting “Jews will not replace us!” and carrying Confedertae flags. If that excuse doesn’t work when you try telling your parents why you got detention – “If ____ jumped off a bridge, would you?” – how does it work when peoples lives were put in danger?

Trump went on to suggest that the public’s growing demands to take away Confederate monuments will send the country down a slippery slope of “changing history” and “changing culture.”

“George Washington was a slave owner. So will George Washington lose his status? Are we going to take down statues to George Washington?” he said. “How about Thomas Jefferson, what do you think of Thomas Jefferson, do you like him? OK good. Are we going to take down the statues, because he was a major slave owner? Now are we going to take down his statue?”

Um, Mr. President*, I’m not sure that question has the weight you think it does. Firstly, Robert E. Lee led an entire army that fought to keep millions of people enslaved. On the 1-10 spectrum of racist political figures, that pretty much makes him a solid 10. There’s not too much comparing the two in this instance.

Perhaps more importantly, read the room. A lot of us are fully aware of the founding fathers’ troubled relationships with slavery and race and are perfectly okay with amending their legacies while still acknowledging their contributions to the country. And Thomas Jefferson is one of the last people you want to reference in these matters.

The president* then had the nerve to throw out the usual “fake news” insults and a random plug for his winery in Charlottesville.

*Donald Trump isn’t our president, in case you were wondering.