Ms.Privilege
The more one walks around as a black male, the more one gets acclimatized to people’s negative assumptions about his life.
I’m use to it. I’m use to the stereotypes, the pre-judgments, and the general ignorance. But yesterday, for the first time in my life I felt as though someone talked to me like I was in some “inner-upper-class-circle.” I didn’t like it.
The woman was black and appeared to be middle aged. (we’ll call her Ms.Privilege for narrow intents and purposes) The conversation started off nicely. She noticed a folder that had the word “summerlinks” written on it (The program at University of Chicago that gave me the grant to work at an internship this summer). She realized I was a student as U of C, and I can only assume that she took this information and attached a connotation to it that didn’t exist. (You know, black male student at Ivy+ School, he must be from money, right?).
Our discussion about Summerlinks and Chicago spilled over into recent changes in the school system. There is a new law out that will ensure a certain number of poverty stricken students to be inserted into selective schools. She explained to me how a student in the United States has a better chance of getting into Harvard, than a student in Chicago getting into Whitney Young Magnet High School. Of course all three of her children have gone to this Chicago “almost-public-pretty-close-to-private” School.
Ms. Privilege seemed to have it all together, she explained her successful career as a journalist and boasted about her sons attending Yale and Princeton. I almost wanted to give her a high five until she fixed her mouth to spout out themes that continue to separate not only the black middle class from the black lower class, but themes that overall separate the rich from the poor in America.
For 20 minutes she ranted about how this new law in Chicago is a threat to the middle class, and shrieked at the thought of someone in poverty making it into Whitney Young HS over a person with higher test scores because of economic status. She continued on by explaining how it’s unrealistic to expect someone of a lower class to be friend with a middle/upper class person because the poor person would not have the money to meet the social expectations (she specifically used the example of how expensive it is to snow board). She concluded by explaining how she felt “threatened like the white parents.”
I was in shock. Ms. Privilege clearly didn’t understand that once upon a time I was the poor boy given a chance by the public school system to succeed in life. I have no problem with people achieving success and wanting success for their children. I have similar aspirations, but my issue comes in when people of privilege facilitate the protection of their status at the cost of poor people who only need a chance and have only a fraction of the resources to offer their children. My issue with Ms. Privilege comes with her pushing a biases of class so far, that she couldn’t expect her child to be friends with someone poor.
Her narrative was like a slap in the face to all the hardworking people without the same resources and opportunities that are allocated to her due to her class.
At the end of the day, I respectfully disagreed with her and got off the bus. But her words, still ache in my stomach Her way of cut-throat individualistic thinking continues to sadden me. And the worse part is, I know she is not the only one. She just assumed I was something else due to my education and was candid enough to say what she thought out loud.
I can only hope that there are still people out there that fight for the common good of all people. A society that wants to see that gap between the poor and rich closed. Unfortunately, I feel that this type of thinking is far too rare. Unfortunately.
Excellently said. I know exactly what you mean. I get the same sort of assumptions whenever I mention my alma mater. It makes my skin crawl every time. It’s hard to claim that we live in a meritocratic society when socioeconomic privilege exists. I had this conversation with a friend who bluntly told me that by choosing to attend certain schools, take certain jobs, live in certain areas, we mark ourselves with a certain status. While the idea is troublesome for me, I knew what he meant. He was basically saying that as far as society is concerned, saying that I went to Duke or that you attend University of Chicago gives us certain status. I hate.hate.hate that notion. Anyway, I digress. But thanks for sharing your story.
Excellently said. I know exactly what you mean. I get the same sort of assumptions whenever I mention my alma mater. It makes my skin crawl every time. It’s hard to claim that we live in a meritocratic society when socioeconomic privilege exists. I had this conversation with a friend who bluntly told me that by choosing to attend certain schools, take certain jobs, live in certain areas, we mark ourselves with a certain status. While the idea is troublesome for me, I knew what he meant. He was basically saying that as far as society is concerned, saying that I went to Duke or that you attend University of Chicago gives us certain status. I hate.hate.hate that notion. Anyway, I digress. But thanks for sharing your story.
This is a reply to this article as well as to Tamara.
You are not marked by privilege because you “choose a certain college” or “take certain jobs”. The opportunity to choose is a privilege. That is to say- Jonathan- Ms. Privilege’s assumption about your status is right. I mean not to be offensive, but you are privileged. You may not be middle class, as of yet, but you are privileged. Furthermore, if your upward mobility continues you may eventually be privileged like Ms. Privilege.
Did you ask about Ms. Privilege’s background? Who was she before she was a successful journalist?
In my experiences, I have encountered individuals with similar views as Ms. Privilege whose parents were working class or welfare recipients. With that said, Tamara your friend’s argument about the status of certain types of education, employment, and residential locations are valid in ways that are disconcerting.
Ms. Privilege’s background may be similar to Jonathan’s background. When we enter privileged institutions, such as the University of Chicago, Whitney Young High School, or the profession of Journalism, we are there to learn privilege.
Whether we believe in equity or a meritocracy, I think we are all aware that neither equity nor merit fully determines our status. If equity and meritocracy does not determine our status, than what does. I would say that our access to privilege does. I remember having a discussion with my cousin about affirmative action in which he regurgitated the argument that “affirmative action gets you in the door but after that it is up to you.” Is it? Or is it greater access to privilege than your peers that gets you to the door; affirmative action that gets you in the door and the privilege that you learn once there that keeps you inside. I am not suggesting that either of you are at your schools because of affirmative action, although we cannot rule it out either, but what I am saying that there are individuals that will work as hard and will never know the privilege of an Ivy league or first tier university.
Therefore, I ask, can we assume that those who are not in the room are not like us? Yes, they have not learned to use privilege. Ms. Privilege’s assumption about your privilege is not an assumption.
You may not feel privileged; you may not come from a privileged background, but thanks to a University of Chicago education, you are privileged.
Congratulations. It is not a bad thing depending on what you do with it.
This is a reply to this article as well as to Tamara.
You are not marked by privilege because you “choose a certain college” or “take certain jobs”. The opportunity to choose is a privilege. That is to say- Jonathan- Ms. Privilege’s assumption about your status is right. I mean not to be offensive, but you are privileged. You may not be middle class, as of yet, but you are privileged. Furthermore, if your upward mobility continues you may eventually be privileged like Ms. Privilege.
Did you ask about Ms. Privilege’s background? Who was she before she was a successful journalist?
In my experiences, I have encountered individuals with similar views as Ms. Privilege whose parents were working class or welfare recipients. With that said, Tamara your friend’s argument about the status of certain types of education, employment, and residential locations are valid in ways that are disconcerting.
Ms. Privilege’s background may be similar to Jonathan’s background. When we enter privileged institutions, such as the University of Chicago, Whitney Young High School, or the profession of Journalism, we are there to learn privilege.
Whether we believe in equity or a meritocracy, I think we are all aware that neither equity nor merit fully determines our status. If equity and meritocracy does not determine our status, than what does. I would say that our access to privilege does. I remember having a discussion with my cousin about affirmative action in which he regurgitated the argument that “affirmative action gets you in the door but after that it is up to you.” Is it? Or is it greater access to privilege than your peers that gets you to the door; affirmative action that gets you in the door and the privilege that you learn once there that keeps you inside. I am not suggesting that either of you are at your schools because of affirmative action, although we cannot rule it out either, but what I am saying that there are individuals that will work as hard and will never know the privilege of an Ivy league or first tier university.
Therefore, I ask, can we assume that those who are not in the room are not like us? Yes, they have not learned to use privilege. Ms. Privilege’s assumption about your privilege is not an assumption.
You may not feel privileged; you may not come from a privileged background, but thanks to a University of Chicago education, you are privileged.
Congratulations. It is not a bad thing depending on what you do with it.
In Response to Lynwellyn:
Thank you for your comment. I agreed with basically all of what you wrote.
I am privileged and accept that fact, I struggle with it, but definitely have accepted it. (read my blog on class and privilege: http://www.blackyouthproject.com/blog/2010/06/class-and-privilege/)
I think you misunderstood me when I wrote about Ms.Privilege’s assumption about my privilege. Please allow me to clarify.
When I told her about me going to U of C it was not just the fact that I am privileged that was the basis for my claim, her assumption came in when she thought I would agree with her narrative (about students of different class not being able to have friendships and that a law about lower class students getting into Whitney Young HS would be bad and unfair for her middle class children). The assumption came when she assumed that because I was from UChicago I would somehow be attached to experiences that would cause me to agree with her. Her assumption came by stereotyping me as a U of C student and not understanding that yes, now I am privileged but at one time I was one of the very poor students that she was speaking against.
I hope this brings clarity.
~Jonathan
In Response to Lynwellyn:
Thank you for your comment. I agreed with basically all of what you wrote.
I am privileged and accept that fact, I struggle with it, but definitely have accepted it. (read my blog on class and privilege: http://www.blackyouthproject.com/blog/2010/06/class-and-privilege/)
I think you misunderstood me when I wrote about Ms.Privilege’s assumption about my privilege. Please allow me to clarify.
When I told her about me going to U of C it was not just the fact that I am privileged that was the basis for my claim, her assumption came in when she thought I would agree with her narrative (about students of different class not being able to have friendships and that a law about lower class students getting into Whitney Young HS would be bad and unfair for her middle class children). The assumption came when she assumed that because I was from UChicago I would somehow be attached to experiences that would cause me to agree with her. Her assumption came by stereotyping me as a U of C student and not understanding that yes, now I am privileged but at one time I was one of the very poor students that she was speaking against.
I hope this brings clarity.
~Jonathan
Lynwellyn mentioned that Jonathan should have perhaps asked Ms. Privilege’s (love that name as a character btw) own background. While I do agree that knowing that information might have helped channel and maybe lighten Jonathan’s presumptions of her (because I do believe they are presumptions), would knowing that she perhaps came from a lower class family on the south side really have justified her own assumptions? What Lynwellyn has brought up is the biting reality that someone who is “less-privileged” but gains entry into some entity of privilege now has to acknowledge, accept, and cope with their own privilege even without having it for so long. Jonathan you claim to acknowledge this for yourself.
Coming from an under-privileged environment myself I do understand the scope of what privilege I have attained by working hard and gaining entrance into the University of Chicago. What I have learned from this particular situation is that we must remember to remain humble and open-minded regardless of what socioeconomic status we have attained. If Ms. Privilege has always been privileged, this situation makes her seem close-minded and disillusioned. If she perhaps did come from a lower class background, then she appears out-of-touch to the struggles she might have had to face. I think people who have ascended into this magical land called “privilege” should do well to not fall into the latter category. And not only that, but individuals from all walks of life should embrace people from all backgrounds–and if that is too grand to accomplish–at least be okay with some under-resourced students gaining entry into a phenomenal high school.
Lynwellyn mentioned that Jonathan should have perhaps asked Ms. Privilege’s (love that name as a character btw) own background. While I do agree that knowing that information might have helped channel and maybe lighten Jonathan’s presumptions of her (because I do believe they are presumptions), would knowing that she perhaps came from a lower class family on the south side really have justified her own assumptions? What Lynwellyn has brought up is the biting reality that someone who is “less-privileged” but gains entry into some entity of privilege now has to acknowledge, accept, and cope with their own privilege even without having it for so long. Jonathan you claim to acknowledge this for yourself.
Coming from an under-privileged environment myself I do understand the scope of what privilege I have attained by working hard and gaining entrance into the University of Chicago. What I have learned from this particular situation is that we must remember to remain humble and open-minded regardless of what socioeconomic status we have attained. If Ms. Privilege has always been privileged, this situation makes her seem close-minded and disillusioned. If she perhaps did come from a lower class background, then she appears out-of-touch to the struggles she might have had to face. I think people who have ascended into this magical land called “privilege” should do well to not fall into the latter category. And not only that, but individuals from all walks of life should embrace people from all backgrounds–and if that is too grand to accomplish–at least be okay with some under-resourced students gaining entry into a phenomenal high school.
I have definitely been privileged (or what I like to call ‘blessed’) throughout a good portion of my life, but I thank God for life experiences that taught me humility and made me realize that it’s only by grace that I have the life that I have today. I think it is important to ‘remember where you come from’, and that even if you were born into privilege to have respect and for those who were not. I think there also comes some responsibility with privilege in that you should lend a non-condescending helping hand to those in need. I personally believe that greatness exists in everyone, and given the right opportunities in life that greatness will come to fruition.
I have definitely been privileged (or what I like to call ‘blessed’) throughout a good portion of my life, but I thank God for life experiences that taught me humility and made me realize that it’s only by grace that I have the life that I have today. I think it is important to ‘remember where you come from’, and that even if you were born into privilege to have respect and for those who were not. I think there also comes some responsibility with privilege in that you should lend a non-condescending helping hand to those in need. I personally believe that greatness exists in everyone, and given the right opportunities in life that greatness will come to fruition.
I would like to add that everyone, regardless or race/class, etc., deserves an equal chance at a quality education.
I would like to add that everyone, regardless or race/class, etc., deserves an equal chance at a quality education.
Jonathan,
I understand that Ms. Privilege assumes you will agree with her assumptions. Of course, she assumes you would agree with her. Why would she make such a ridiculous argument if she believed you did not agree? My argument is only that Ms. Privilege is not ignorant. On the contrary, her “assumption” has merit. Many young people enter universities and colleges from non-privileged backgrounds and are unable to access the privileges these institutions could afford them because of social and economic barriers. Yes, it is true that her example is absurd, but her premise is relevant.
Everyone grapples with their privilege or “blessings” but this does not change whether or not we are privileged. It is how we know we are privileged.
I agree that everyone deserves a quality education, but not everyone will get a quality education. Only some of us will. My question is about how we use the realization of our privilege to ensure equity.
I would bet that this is not the last time you encounter this type of discrimination. Nonetheless, I am thrilled that others recognize Ms. Privilege’s comments for what they are- “The Pedagogy of Privilege”-, as Ms. Privilege was educating you on your privilege.
You are privileged; you know you are privilege, but you do not assume you are entitled, which is what I am gathering from your piece. My intention was not to critique but to say, so you know your privileged, now what?
You have done more than share a frustrating experience. You have tapped into one of our most salient debates about equity in the U.S. Your experience exemplifies the harsh reality of inequality in the U.S. Education will not close the gap for everyone. We are not just dealing with a gap in material resources. We are dealing with personalities, identities, ideas, and politics so ingrained that we encounter them in seemingly neutral places, unprivileged spaces, such as the bus.
What will we do with what we have learned from your experience and other experiences like it?
Jonathan,
I understand that Ms. Privilege assumes you will agree with her assumptions. Of course, she assumes you would agree with her. Why would she make such a ridiculous argument if she believed you did not agree? My argument is only that Ms. Privilege is not ignorant. On the contrary, her “assumption” has merit. Many young people enter universities and colleges from non-privileged backgrounds and are unable to access the privileges these institutions could afford them because of social and economic barriers. Yes, it is true that her example is absurd, but her premise is relevant.
Everyone grapples with their privilege or “blessings” but this does not change whether or not we are privileged. It is how we know we are privileged.
I agree that everyone deserves a quality education, but not everyone will get a quality education. Only some of us will. My question is about how we use the realization of our privilege to ensure equity.
I would bet that this is not the last time you encounter this type of discrimination. Nonetheless, I am thrilled that others recognize Ms. Privilege’s comments for what they are- “The Pedagogy of Privilege”-, as Ms. Privilege was educating you on your privilege.
You are privileged; you know you are privilege, but you do not assume you are entitled, which is what I am gathering from your piece. My intention was not to critique but to say, so you know your privileged, now what?
You have done more than share a frustrating experience. You have tapped into one of our most salient debates about equity in the U.S. Your experience exemplifies the harsh reality of inequality in the U.S. Education will not close the gap for everyone. We are not just dealing with a gap in material resources. We are dealing with personalities, identities, ideas, and politics so ingrained that we encounter them in seemingly neutral places, unprivileged spaces, such as the bus.
What will we do with what we have learned from your experience and other experiences like it?
Ms. Privilege is an idiot. She’s against the idea of lower-income kids getting a boast in admissions to Whitney Young. I HOPE HER SONS WHO ATTENDED YALE AND PRINCETON DIDN’T CHECK THAT BOX. If they did, I’m sure some white person was complaining about that!
As a side note, I don’t agree with Whitney Young making this adjustment to admissions. However, I won’t get into that. It should be noted that it’s not for any of the reasons that Ms. Privileged (which I wonder how privileged she actually is) states. Ms. Privileged needs to stop riding on the success of her sons and actually state what she means as “success in the field of journalism.”
Ms. Privilege is an idiot. She’s against the idea of lower-income kids getting a boast in admissions to Whitney Young. I HOPE HER SONS WHO ATTENDED YALE AND PRINCETON DIDN’T CHECK THAT BOX. If they did, I’m sure some white person was complaining about that!
As a side note, I don’t agree with Whitney Young making this adjustment to admissions. However, I won’t get into that. It should be noted that it’s not for any of the reasons that Ms. Privileged (which I wonder how privileged she actually is) states. Ms. Privileged needs to stop riding on the success of her sons and actually state what she means as “success in the field of journalism.”