boygirl

By: Kristen Topp

            Yesterday was an especially awkward day for the students that I teach. It was the PUBERTY TALK. I was sure it would be painful for some of my students. However I didn’t anticipate how uncomfortable the presentation would make me. Not because of the terrible 80’s video, nude cartoons of pre-pubescent bodies, or because the presenter was super attractive (more on that later). I was uncomfortable because the presenter, a woman from Planned Parenthood, had a slideshow where you had to “Guess the gender.”

              I work at a private school that specializes in students with learning disabilities. These students run the gambit from ADD/ADHD all the way through the Autism Spectrum. And I find the game of employing gender stereotypes to “guess the sex” especially problematic for that very reason. Some of our students lack the ability to read social cues, or understand what is or is not appropriate in a group setting. Tell an autistic kid not to stick their hands in their pants and they’ll usually ask “why?”

            With this kind of student population they are like blank slates, often absorbing information at face value. So when the woman showed these girls pictures of humans and ask them to guess their gender I was horrified. It took all of my professionalism to sit on my hands and not interrupt this woman filling my students’ heads with dangerous stereotypes.

How do they know the difference between boys and girls? How are we all taught to recognize, and police, these gender roles? Stereotypes. Hair. Make-up. Clothes. So anyone that falls outside of these roles are “other”.

Imagine what these types of expectations can do to the minds of future little non-gender conforming/transgendered/queer kids.

How do you operate in the world if you realize you do not fit into  one of the two very rigid boxes? If you don’t want to pick boy or girl. Or if you are a boy that likes dresses?

That’s exactly what I was imagining as I felt a self-righteous indignation rising in me. How dare this woman come in and smear this gendered bullsh*t all over these impressionable people. I thought that surely Planned Parenthood would have a more progressive approach to gender, but clearly I was wrong. I don’t know that I’ve seen such blatant reinforcement of gender roles in quite a while, and it was enraging. Not for myself, but for these students whose education I have been charged with. I feel that I let them down in some way.=

So, my questions are:

-How can I use my feminist knowledge to counter what I think is a damaging message?

-Am I taking this too seriously?

-Should I talk to the woman about her handling of gender?

 

And, on a side note:

-Can I flirt with a person at school while still being a professional educator? (I fear not)