Sex and relationship resources by Black folks, for Black folks
It is easier than ever to find and resonate with sex and relationship education material that is a reflection of our own identities.
by Sarah Thomas
As conversations about sex, sexuality, and relationships become more and more mainstream, Black folks need to be visible as both audience and educators. When we are navigating questions about who is worthy of our love and who the people are exploring the finer points of relationships and their lives publically, it can be hard to find educators who look like us. Black people need sexual education and relationship resources that embody an open and inclusive ideology.
We have come a long way from pretty much only reading about sex, sexuality, and relationships in Cosmopolitan and Essence magazines—or following Carrie Bradshaw’s fictitious dating blog on Sex and the City or the very real “Dear Abby” column, both exceedingly white.
While the landsape of the sex positivity movement is still in its early stages, it is critical that all people are represented at its forefront. When we are looking for ways to navigate not just our sexuality, but how we show up in our relationships—romantic and otherwise—it is easier than ever to find and resonate with material that is a reflection of our own identities.
Here is a list of resources to get you started in your exploration of sexuliaty and advice on relationships and dating from diverse perspectives.
Their mission is to, “Educate, explore, and reclaim Black sexuality. Our vision is to promote Black self empowerment through sexual liberation.” The duo behind Afrosexology, Dalychia and Rafaella, offer a varied repository of modern resources, including their 9-Day Intercourse Challenge. The activities promote sexual growth, healing, and pleasure. They also offer curriculm based workshops such as, “Exploring Your Erotic Black Self” and “What Dat Mouf Do: Oral Sex and Tounge Action.” Afrosexology covers all of the bases of modern sex education, all while centering the Black experience.
This Podcast is creating space where Black men can have deeper conversations, vent, laugh, cry, and call each other out for problematic behavior. Check out the “Fellas what makes you feel sexy” episode, which touches on the double standards of revenge porn and Black sexual stereotypes.
Ashley is a blogger and “sexfluencer” who shares most of her tips and resources on her Instagram. It’s regularly updated with topics such as a “30 Day Sex Challenge” and posts poignant questions such as, “Is sex a Valentine’s Day gift?” With Instagram becoming more a part of people’s lives, its important that Black sex educators such as Ashley are accessible via the platform.
Using a mixture of memes and personal posts, Kevin Patterson, author of “Love’s Not Color Blind,” runs this educational Instagram account. Along with a recent appearance on the Tamron Hall Show and keeping an updated Tumblr account, Patterson has been showing the diverse side of polyamorus relationships. Patterson’s down-to-earth approach helps to normalize polyamorus relationships in Black communities.
The best thing about this podcast is that the hosts don’t hold back in their conversations. Varying from life discussions among all of the hosts, to pared down interviews with leaders in the sexuality field, this podcast is a must for Black folks who are looking to unapollogeticllaly explore their sexuailty. When asked about what they hope listeners will take away from the podcast, the three hosts all posed their own responses:
“It is our goal to discuss, explore, and normalize the beautiful variety of ways in which sexuality, love, and relationships show up in the lives of folks who are typically marginalized in conversations around these topics.”
“When folks listen to Inner Hoe Uprising, I hope it shines the light on the agency they have over their own bodies. For me, being on this show, and what I hope listeners also get from it, is an insight into the nuances of pleasure and sexuality, from a perspective that’ll make you laugh while you learn.”
“For a long time, I didn’t own my own sexuality or pleasure. It was performative; for my partner exclusively, as if I were just a vessel for their orgasm. Honestly, through even recording episodes of the Inner Hoe Uprising Podcast, I have been learning that my sexual experience is mine and I can decide what happens in it.”
Sarah is a writer and social media manager living in Chicago. Her work focuses on the the intersection of Black culture and sexuality, while drawing from history and current events. Her work has appeared in Blavity and Chicago’s South Side Weekly. She is a firm believer in inclusive sex education and sex positivity. Connect with her on Twitter @CaffeineColors and read her work at linktr.ee/quite_underwhelming