I’m going to try something new this football season. I’m going to actually try to understand football. I’ve always been a casual fan, and way more interested in the business of football but I’ve never taken the time to learn the nuances of the game. Since the NBA has divorced me, I figured now is the best time to learn.

I’m resolved to the fact that I may never know football as well as I know basketball. A friend gave me a book to help me learn the basics, Get Your Own Damn Beer, I’m Watching the Game! It’s a fun, clear guide to the game of football. It covers the history of the game, the job of each official and the responsibility of each player on the field.

After reading the book, I felt ready for football season, confident in my knowledge, prepared for any football situation. And then the clock started for our fantasy football draft. And then I panicked.

Names started running together. I need how many quarterbacks? Who’s injured? What’s the name of that guy on that team? After a while, I threw all logic out of the window and started drafting players whose names sounded familiar. The draft seemed to tick on forever but I got through it. While Gang Green may not be the best constructed team…we’re here!

Josh Freeman better have a stellar year or look good failing.

It’s going to be a torturous, nightmarish process but between my book and my fantasy football team, I will be able to spot a holding violation before the end of this NFL season.

But for now, can someone tell me if I should start Pierre Thomas or Rashard Mendenhall?