What’s the Difference between Slapping Kat Stacks and the Grim Sleeper Murders? Nothing, Absolutely Nothing
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJxjxrz-jVc&feature=related
When the first video of Kat Stacks being slapped by Bow Wow’s male fans became viral on YouTube back in June, I was immediately angered by the physical act of violence and then equally angered by the misogynistic rhetorical of male honor and female “sexual” dishonor that legitimized the beating of Kat Stacks. However, when another video became viral depicting the same tragic events only this time it was with a different black male perpetrator slapping Kat Stacks, publicly, into submission, I was left speechless. How could this happen again? What in the air as my grandmother would say makes random black men think they have the right to beat a woman because she publicly touts her heterosexuality and the insufficient smallness of several male rappers’ penises—Bow Wow, Nelly, and Fabulous? What in the air allows people both women and men in the videos to stand by and cheer for her demise?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev3TjxlGrAU
And the answer to this question is somewhat hinted in a former blog I wrote about the mother in Precious, Mary, and it is also hinted at in Zettler Clay’s blog, Kat Stacks Exposes Hypermasculine Culture.
Yes, it is hyper-masculinity, but, I think it is also about the ability to abuse culturally “soiled” black women publicly . . . women who by choice or by circumstance do not abide by patriarchal heterosexist behaviors and beliefs—“Yeah, I smashed (i.e. fucked) you and your homies and all y’all had small dicks” . . . black women who prefer to love and sleep with women only—the New Jersey 7. . . black women who sell their bodies for profit . . . black women who struggle with drug addiction . . . single black women who take handouts from the federal government . . . black women who are single mothers and poor. These are all deviant categories which have different forms of stigma and abuse attached to them.
And let me just say, this does not mean that black women who are good little girls, good little wives, and good little mothers are immune to violence because they are not. But, it does say something about the level of publicly shaming—violence—black women when they decide or are forced to decide to walk outside the lines of worshiping and paying legal tribute to the black man’s penis.
Because all the male rappers loved Kat Stacks before she publically dissed their penises and their fake Hip Hop life styles. They loved her because she would happily have sex with them when and how they wanted to have sex. But, when she decided to air the dirty laundry she became a liability and had to be marked as Scarlett was marked with an “A” upon her chest where fans of male Hip Hop rappers have license to beat, slap, and stump the “hoe” at will.
Furthermore, Kat Stacks’ story of violence reveals, yet again, that no woman is ever totally safe in a patriarchal society because the line of proving your loyalty to heterosexual men is a thin line on its most good day. You can decide you don’t want to date him any longer and he comes into Verizon while you are working and sets you on fire. You can decide you do not want to cook to night he can beat you senseless. You can decide not to sleep with his homies even though you slept with him and they gang rape you. You can say their penises are the sizes of toothpicks and male rappers will sit by and allow their fans to beat you. And, often, not always, but often the responsibility is on the woman to prove she was victimized . . . hurt . . . raped . . . abused . . . exploited. And, of course she must not be a deviant black woman like Kat Stacks because her personhood automatically makes her guilty.
Mind you, this isn’t new, black feminist have been writing and mobilizing about these issues for a very long time. It just never fails to anger me and cause me to see how various acts of violence against black women are interrelated. For instance, the Grim Sleeper’s murders which span a 20 year period show the same characteristics of Kat Stacks’ story of public gender violence and what happens to culturally soiled black women. Each of the 10 women murdered were allegedly women who were sex workers or black women who struggled with drugs . . . women who in the eyes of the Grim Sleeper were easily missed. So, he could rape them, kill them, or do as another black man did in Cleveland bury them in the walls of his house for 20 years because no one would miss them or believe they could be victimized.
But, before I end my blog, I must say I have a bone to pick with Bossip. I understand the blog is dedicated to exposing black celebrities’ gossip, but I think there is a fine line between reporting gossip about Kat Stacks and inciting violence against her. There are numerous negative posts about Kat Stacks’ ownership of her sexuality calling her the “Jizzernator.” This is unacceptable even if it is gossip.
All in all, there is no difference between what Kat Stacks experienced and why 10 black women could be murdered over a 20 year period by a black man. It all makes me sad and angry.
(Not that i’m AT ALL in agreement with what happened to Kat Stacks…sadly, and in all honesty, i have no [positive] feelings towards her or her sexuality) but it almost seems like she’s being off the hook here based on man hitting her…
(Not that i’m AT ALL in agreement with what happened to Kat Stacks…sadly, and in all honesty, i have no [positive] feelings towards her or her sexuality) but it almost seems like she’s being off the hook here based on man hitting her…
woah–“being let off the hook”? what does that mean? she needs to punished? what does she need to be punished for? I think that is what this post is addressing–the idea that *certain people* need to be punished for what they do…and why are those *certain people* almost always black women?
woah–“being let off the hook”? what does that mean? she needs to punished? what does she need to be punished for? I think that is what this post is addressing–the idea that *certain people* need to be punished for what they do…and why are those *certain people* almost always black women?
I loosely followed this kat stacks story. When I saw a clip, I’d listen to her, and shake my head at this girl who shamelessly touted her sexual exploits as though she was auditioning to be a contestant on a reality show entitled “the next superhead.” It’s been revealed that she’s lied a lot about it all (Nelly confronted her on a radio show and she fessed up to lying about him). However, after all of her slander and wreckless sexual expose’, Kat Stacks did not “deserve” to be slapped. What you’re point should be is that NOBODY deserves to be slapped in such a manner, female OR male.
I loosely followed this kat stacks story. When I saw a clip, I’d listen to her, and shake my head at this girl who shamelessly touted her sexual exploits as though she was auditioning to be a contestant on a reality show entitled “the next superhead.” It’s been revealed that she’s lied a lot about it all (Nelly confronted her on a radio show and she fessed up to lying about him). However, after all of her slander and wreckless sexual expose’, Kat Stacks did not “deserve” to be slapped. What you’re point should be is that NOBODY deserves to be slapped in such a manner, female OR male.
my comment doesn’t really have anything to do with abuse towards her…the post just seems really one-sided to me…i just hope that people see the difference between her “touting her heterosexuality and the insufficient smallness of several male rappers… See More’ penises” and public (albeit verbal) abuse of others…and i’m not just talking about the one’s who have slapped her…who knows if her celeb rants are true are not, but either way i’m sure it’s hurtful to have someone carrying on like that about your personal life…
my comment doesn’t really have anything to do with abuse towards her…the post just seems really one-sided to me…i just hope that people see the difference between her “touting her heterosexuality and the insufficient smallness of several male rappers… See More’ penises” and public (albeit verbal) abuse of others…and i’m not just talking about the one’s who have slapped her…who knows if her celeb rants are true are not, but either way i’m sure it’s hurtful to have someone carrying on like that about your personal life…
@ Tiffany,
okay, sis, I see your point now. I do not think the post is one sided. It is simply the truth of how certain groups of women are easily abused because they are deviant women. So, she sleeps with them and calls them out and now those actions deserve constant physical abuse? I think not.
And my hope for talking about the Grim Sleeper murders were to get at how the power dynamics of publicly slapping Kat Stacks for her brazen out of speaking out about her sexual acts is also seen in how the Grim Sleeper and the serial killer in Cleveland was able to escape being caught because the women they targeted occupy the lowest categories of womanhood in our patriarchal racist capitalistic society.
@ Tiffany,
okay, sis, I see your point now. I do not think the post is one sided. It is simply the truth of how certain groups of women are easily abused because they are deviant women. So, she sleeps with them and calls them out and now those actions deserve constant physical abuse? I think not.
And my hope for talking about the Grim Sleeper murders were to get at how the power dynamics of publicly slapping Kat Stacks for her brazen out of speaking out about her sexual acts is also seen in how the Grim Sleeper and the serial killer in Cleveland was able to escape being caught because the women they targeted occupy the lowest categories of womanhood in our patriarchal racist capitalistic society.
@Fallon W.
i see your point, but i’ll admit that i overlooked the connection you were trying to make because the post seemed so one-sided to me…
@Fallon W.
i see your point, but i’ll admit that i overlooked the connection you were trying to make because the post seemed so one-sided to me…
What you’re point should be is that NOBODY deserves to be slapped in such a manner, female OR male.
but why should this be fallon’s point? sure, you’re absolutely correct, 100%–but–how many men are being attacked in the streets for saying they fucked a woman and saying she has a nasty puss? or something along those lines?
What you’re point should be is that NOBODY deserves to be slapped in such a manner, female OR male.
but why should this be fallon’s point? sure, you’re absolutely correct, 100%–but–how many men are being attacked in the streets for saying they fucked a woman and saying she has a nasty puss? or something along those lines?
Fallon–it seems clear (to me) that she is being “punished” for being a “deviant” woman, and this is unacceptable. Her behavior (sleeping with however many men and speaking about it publicly) is only problematic because of her gender. Many men, particularly the very men who (allegedly) slept with her (and others), who attacked her, and who condone the attack of her, engage in this same behavior–without the public “pimp slap.” So, even within the cultural context her behavior does not deserve “punishment.” However, there is an apparent double standard (which is not new). In fact, the same website that depicts her as “hip hop’s most hated ho” (such clever alliteration) was critical of chris brown’s physical abuse of rhianna–which indicates to me a subscription to the belief that “good” women and “bad” women do not deserve the same justice.
No human being deserves to be subjected to an act of violence. If she, or any of us, are/were wrong, there are greater laws than pimp law. May I add, that the individuals were fans of the rappers–which speaks to the hypermasculinity you mention. Their manhood is so invested in and connected to the imagined manhood of these rappers that they feel it must be defended—“if bow wow’s dick is small and he sleeps in a bunk bed and i listen to his music, then she is also talking about me, and thus…”
Fallon–it seems clear (to me) that she is being “punished” for being a “deviant” woman, and this is unacceptable. Her behavior (sleeping with however many men and speaking about it publicly) is only problematic because of her gender. Many men, particularly the very men who (allegedly) slept with her (and others), who attacked her, and who condone the attack of her, engage in this same behavior–without the public “pimp slap.” So, even within the cultural context her behavior does not deserve “punishment.” However, there is an apparent double standard (which is not new). In fact, the same website that depicts her as “hip hop’s most hated ho” (such clever alliteration) was critical of chris brown’s physical abuse of rhianna–which indicates to me a subscription to the belief that “good” women and “bad” women do not deserve the same justice.
No human being deserves to be subjected to an act of violence. If she, or any of us, are/were wrong, there are greater laws than pimp law. May I add, that the individuals were fans of the rappers–which speaks to the hypermasculinity you mention. Their manhood is so invested in and connected to the imagined manhood of these rappers that they feel it must be defended—“if bow wow’s dick is small and he sleeps in a bunk bed and i listen to his music, then she is also talking about me, and thus…”
Okay Fallon, I feel you on this and I immediately saw your connection with the Grim Sleeper guy. Of course, I thought he was going to be a white man, but whatever. Anyway, I kind of giggled when I heard what Kat Stacks had to say about incompetent male partners she’s had in the hip hop world. What made it a bit amusing is that many of them go around talking about how big their penis is and this and that, but she brought a screaming halt to that train. However, I also was laughing because while her behavior is “shamelessly touted” as J-Money said, it is quite sad, but I don’t think it is shameful for the same reason as our male voice on this blog. I’m looking a little deeper into this issue. Yeah, she doesn’t fit the perfect little box of Victorian womanhood that women of color endlessly find themselves trying to measure up to, but I believe the better conversations or questions we should be having and answering should point to they why. Why is her behavior thought to be so awful, yet a male can do the same thing? The second question might be, “Why does she get fulfillment out of this?”. And third (and the ultimate) “How does this (once again) serve the fantastic hegemonic imagination* created by normative society and how are we facilitating the re-creation of caricatures without their help?”. Yeah, that’s the most important conversation if you ask me…good post Fallon.
*term coined by Emilie Townes
Okay Fallon, I feel you on this and I immediately saw your connection with the Grim Sleeper guy. Of course, I thought he was going to be a white man, but whatever. Anyway, I kind of giggled when I heard what Kat Stacks had to say about incompetent male partners she’s had in the hip hop world. What made it a bit amusing is that many of them go around talking about how big their penis is and this and that, but she brought a screaming halt to that train. However, I also was laughing because while her behavior is “shamelessly touted” as J-Money said, it is quite sad, but I don’t think it is shameful for the same reason as our male voice on this blog. I’m looking a little deeper into this issue. Yeah, she doesn’t fit the perfect little box of Victorian womanhood that women of color endlessly find themselves trying to measure up to, but I believe the better conversations or questions we should be having and answering should point to they why. Why is her behavior thought to be so awful, yet a male can do the same thing? The second question might be, “Why does she get fulfillment out of this?”. And third (and the ultimate) “How does this (once again) serve the fantastic hegemonic imagination* created by normative society and how are we facilitating the re-creation of caricatures without their help?”. Yeah, that’s the most important conversation if you ask me…good post Fallon.
*term coined by Emilie Townes
@ Charla, Lamacha, and Dianna,
Well said . . . well said.
@Charla,
“In fact, the same website that depicts her as “hip hop’s most hated ho” (such clever alliteration) was critical of chris brown’s physical abuse of rhianna–which indicates to me a subscription to the belief that “good” women and “bad” women do not deserve the same justice.”
Yep, I have huge problems with Bossip and Hip Hop Wire too when it comes to how they too objectofy and license violence against black women. So, I have to hear it form the rappers and now see on Bossip and Hip Hop Wire.
@Dianna,
Yes, womanist ethicist you are right sis to ask the questions you have asked. And I love the term coined by Emilie Townes, “fantastic hegemonic imagination.”
@ Charla, Lamacha, and Dianna,
Well said . . . well said.
@Charla,
“In fact, the same website that depicts her as “hip hop’s most hated ho” (such clever alliteration) was critical of chris brown’s physical abuse of rhianna–which indicates to me a subscription to the belief that “good” women and “bad” women do not deserve the same justice.”
Yep, I have huge problems with Bossip and Hip Hop Wire too when it comes to how they too objectofy and license violence against black women. So, I have to hear it form the rappers and now see on Bossip and Hip Hop Wire.
@Dianna,
Yes, womanist ethicist you are right sis to ask the questions you have asked. And I love the term coined by Emilie Townes, “fantastic hegemonic imagination.”
Ohhh the reason I mentioned the Victorian model of beauty is to point out why here behavior is “shameless”. She’s not a good wifey, keeper of the family name, she’s not measuring up to the white males vision of purity for a woman (i.e. a white woman like leave it to Beaver mom or something similar). A Black woman’s behavior, whether it is societally acceptable or not, will always be shameless, because the hegemonic force of white society have positioned her at the bottem of the cultural totem pole to stay. Pretty much that’s all…meant to unpack it earlier. My bad.
Ohhh the reason I mentioned the Victorian model of beauty is to point out why here behavior is “shameless”. She’s not a good wifey, keeper of the family name, she’s not measuring up to the white males vision of purity for a woman (i.e. a white woman like leave it to Beaver mom or something similar). A Black woman’s behavior, whether it is societally acceptable or not, will always be shameless, because the hegemonic force of white society have positioned her at the bottem of the cultural totem pole to stay. Pretty much that’s all…meant to unpack it earlier. My bad.
@Fallon: i’m at a loss, honestly. this violence is so very unnecessary but is somehow sanctioned by the “buts” even in some of the replies to your comments: the “but she needs a father figure” sentiment (an idea that, in my opinion, makes *possible* the sort of violence that we see enacted against her; the idea that a male-bodied, male-identified person has the ability to steer right a woman-bodied, woman-identified subject….this idea only works in a system that is itself inherently sexist, patriarchal and heterosexist)
i’m so over this violence…this violence enacted daily in the name of correcting folks.
@Fallon: i’m at a loss, honestly. this violence is so very unnecessary but is somehow sanctioned by the “buts” even in some of the replies to your comments: the “but she needs a father figure” sentiment (an idea that, in my opinion, makes *possible* the sort of violence that we see enacted against her; the idea that a male-bodied, male-identified person has the ability to steer right a woman-bodied, woman-identified subject….this idea only works in a system that is itself inherently sexist, patriarchal and heterosexist)
i’m so over this violence…this violence enacted daily in the name of correcting folks.
Violence perpetrated towards Kat Stacks for the reasons of her “deviant” sexual behaviour are wrong. I have no dissent with that. BUT it is VERY hard to respect and defend a woman who doesn’t respect herself. I find the maxim, “You can’t help anyone that don’t want to help themselves,” to be quite relevant here. This is why the black feminist bandwagon that comes into “save” other black women by nature of their being black women doesn’t and hasn’t ever been one that I’m quick to jump on. Protecting women against patriarchy and misogyny is the greater good that only comes second to saving this woman’s life, heart and soul. In more ways than one, with the lifestyle choices she subscribes to, her life will be in a constant state of clear and present DANGER. My question is: How do we save someone from themselves?
Violence perpetrated towards Kat Stacks for the reasons of her “deviant” sexual behaviour are wrong. I have no dissent with that. BUT it is VERY hard to respect and defend a woman who doesn’t respect herself. I find the maxim, “You can’t help anyone that don’t want to help themselves,” to be quite relevant here. This is why the black feminist bandwagon that comes into “save” other black women by nature of their being black women doesn’t and hasn’t ever been one that I’m quick to jump on. Protecting women against patriarchy and misogyny is the greater good that only comes second to saving this woman’s life, heart and soul. In more ways than one, with the lifestyle choices she subscribes to, her life will be in a constant state of clear and present DANGER. My question is: How do we save someone from themselves?